Spiritual Discipline and Sexual Purity

The promise of God is that He will give us new life and that He will re-create us in the image of Christ Jesus. This happens when we have a connection with Jesus. In John 15:5 we read that Jesus told His apostles; “Yet. I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing” (NLT). Similarly the apostle Paul wrote, Let your roots grow down into him and draw up nourishment from him, so you will grow in faith, strong and vigorous in the truth you were taught. Let your lives overflow with thanksgiving for all he has done (Colossians 2:7; NLT). We draw our life from Christ Jesus, and so it is vital that we remain connected to Him.

I think this truth is vital for us to remember, because we cannot live the life God created us to live apart from Jesus. Try as hard as we might and erect as many laws as we can but we will continually fall short. That is why sexual purity is so hard to maintain, because we all of our good intentions and all of our boundaries will not prevent us from stumbling if we we are not first and foremost connected to Jesus. Remember what He said, “For apart from me you can do nothing”, and that includes remaining sexually pure.

You may be wondering, “Why does sexual purity matter?” This is a very good question since it would not be worth the struggle if sexual purity wasn’t an essential part of living the life God has created us to live. Sexual purity matters because pre-marital sex and extra-material sex rob us of the life that God designed us to live. Rather than bringing us closer to God sex, when done outside of the bounds of marriage, takes us further away from God.

At least that has been the case in my life, and think the testimony of many other people would confirm this reality. Let me clarify, I have never had sex, but that doesn’t mean that I have always held sex in the sacred place it deserves. In the relationships that I have been in we have established boundaries that we agreed were acceptable. Yet, what I discovered is that I always wanted to push those boundaries, and the reason I wanted to push those boundaries had nothing with showing her my love, but had everything to do with gratifying my selfish desires. Not only that, but I constantly began to see her as a body rather than a person. In a very real sense my actions led me to dehumanize the woman I was with.

The spiritual life that God wants us to live is to do just the opposite. As followers of Christ Jesus we are to bring dignity, respect, and love into the lives of people. In other words we are to treat people as image-bearers of God. Sexual purity is important because it helps us to treat people the way God intended us to treat them.

It is hard to do that when there is so much fighting against us in our goal to be sexually pure. I don’t need to tell you what a cesspool we live in. Sex is every where and it is often right in our face. You can’t even go to the store without 20 different magazine covers declaring that they have the secret to a happy and exciting sex life (the fact that magazines feel the need to keep offering this advice should tell us something: YOU DON’T HAVE THE SECRET!). For honesty sake we have to admit that the world is opposed to our desire to be sexually pure, and therefore this is not going to be easy. Yet, I am also fully convinced that it is the best way to live life.

With so much against us, how can we remain sexually pure? First, it begins with an understanding of what is truly important in life. A poor person who is greedy will spend his/her time thinking about and scheming to get money. They do this because the believe that money is the most important thing in life and if they only had money then they would be happy. We have to come to an understanding that we don’t need sex to have a happy and fulfilled life, and so we don’t need to think about all the time or scheme to find loopholes so we can experience a little bit of it (the basis of the “how far is too far?” question). This will require three steps.

First we will have to get rid of the media that fuels our hearts and minds. We have to be ruthless when it comes to getting rid of movies, TV shows, and music that lead us to fantasize and lead our desires and thoughts astray. I took time last year to go through my DVD collection, and when I picked up the movie if the first thought I had about it was a sex scene or a female I through that DVD away. We get enough of the “just do it” message from living in the world, we don’t need to make things harder by intentionally bringing it into our lives. Along with this we have to establish limits for protection. On my MacBook and iPod Touch I have a filter system called Safe Eyes. Not only does it filter out unwanted content, but it also allows me to establish limits on how long I can be online (because even the best filter will allow filth in). If we are not intentional about setting boundaries into what we allow into our hearts and minds, then we will discover that so much of what consumes our thought life is impure and unhealthy.

Second we have to intentionally find ministries that we can join. Ministry (we could also call it service) is vital for our lives. It reminds us that the world doesn’t revolve around us and our lives, but that there are people in this world who are in tremendous need, whether that need is physical or spiritual. When we serve we are expressing our love for people, and God reminds us that there is a call on our lives to make a difference in this world for His Kingdom. We don’t need to have sex in order to leave our mark on this world. Not only does ministry remind us that there is a call upon our lives, but it also puts us into experiences where sex takes a back seat and we can see the world more clearly.

Third we have to devote ourselves to our spiritual lives. Too many of us neglect the spiritual side of our lives, and thus we lose the vital connection we need with Jesus. This means that we have to establish in our lives certain habits that will help us remain connected to Jesus and follow where He leads. This includes prayer. While we can pray anywhere and at anytime there is something that is essential in having a time we have set aside to spend time alone with God. Two things have proved helpful to me in this. First, is to have a private place for prayer. I have a certain chair that I use. Second, is to pray aloud. I have found that this helps me to stay focused and actually talk to God in the way I would talk to a person. To go along with pray we need to be in God’s Word. This isn’t just about reading the Bible, but it is about getting God’s Word into our hearts. When we go to the Bible the agenda isn’t about how much we read, but planting God’s truth into our hearts. Then take time of quiet meditation or reflection to concentrate on what God is communicating through the Bible. It also requires memorizing Scripture so that we are able to recall God’s truth and promises as we go about our day.

There is so much more that could be said, but I want to end with this thought: Sexual purity is the result of our pursuit of holiness. If we desire sexual purity but don’t desire holiness in other areas of our lives we will not be sexually pure. The spiritual disciplines, those actions which keep us connected to Jesus, is how we train our bodies in the way of holiness. That is why sexual purity isn’t just about making a decision, that is where it starts, but it is about training our bodies to obey God’s will for our lives. We have to see sexual purity as something worth fighting for and then we have to devote our entire lives to prepare for that fight.

Take Time to Listen

I don't need me to tell you that life is busy because you are living it. Life can be hectic, and if we are not intentional about carving out time for God, then we will miss it.

As much as I enjoy spending time with my family, one thing that I dislike is that it throws my devotional routine off. That is what happened to me last week as I spent time at my parents' house with my brother and his family. We had a good time together, but my time alone with God was limited and distracted.

As I begin this new week I am feeling a little bit out of sorts, and one of the reasons is because I missed out on a vital part of my devotional time last week, and that is simply taking time to listen for God's voice. That time of silent meditation has become a huge part of my time with God, and missing out on that feels like missing out on God's guidance.

I wasn't intentional about my devotional time, and though I made time for God every day, I missed out on a vital aspect of my devotions.

David in Psalm 145 conveys a very similar thought. In verse 5 he wrote; "I will meditate a on your majestic, glorious splendor and your wonderful miracles" (NLT). It is this time of silent reflection that enables us to make sense of life and just how great and wonderful God really is.

I urge you to take some time today and get alone with your Bible and you thoughts and meditate on God and His Word.

Sent from my iPod

Sunday Quote: Fighting Against Selfishness

"In whatever sector of society Christian faith exists, it sets out to fight against the cost to human dignity that selfishness has exacted. It teaches the wealthy to be generous and to have a proper view of the privileges and responsibilities that come with financial success. When wealth is used properly and those who have it demonstrate humility, the inequalities of life are less bitter to those who do not possess it. On the other hand, for those who live in less-affluent circumstances, authentic faith teaches diligence, patience, industry and a recognition that the faithful execution of their responsibilities is to be done without envy of the rich or bitterness toward their own state." ~ William Wilberforce, Real Christianity, pp. 155-6

When Men Aren't Men

Originally posted on Friday February 04, 2005

In the February 2005 issue of Reader’s Digest there is a column by Michael Crowley entitled No-Strings Sex: Teen girls are buying into the sleaze we’re selling them. I think for many years it was viewed as guys being the ones who were initiating sex and the girls were being pressured into going along. What is now being discovered is that it is the girls who are becoming the aggressors. There was a Newsweek report in 2004 that showed married women were the ones initiating affairs. We act all surprised because for so long we have thought it was the other way around.

I personally don’t find this all surprising. It is the natural result of a culture where the males are no longer men. John Eldredge in Wild at Heart wrote:

Finally, every woman wants to have a beauty to unveil. Not to conjure, but to unveil. Most women feel the pressure to be beautiful from very young, but that is not what I speak of. There is also a deep desire to simply and truly be the beauty, and be delighted in. Most little girls will remember playing dress up, or wedding day, or “twirling skirts” those flowing dresses that were perfect for spinning around in. She’ll put her pretty dress on, come into the living room and twirl. What she longs for is to capture her daddy’s delight. My wife remembers standing on top of the coffee table as a girl of five or six, and singing her heart out. Do you see me? asks the heart of every girl. And are you captivated by what you see? (p. 17)

The main reason why this sexual aggression has suddenly become evident with teen girls has very little to do with TV, music, and magazines. It has everything to do with men who do not delight in the women in the lives. As men try to discover their “manhood” through sports, career, pornography, or through sexual conquests they become distant from women. When women feel they are not the delight of their fathers’ or husbands’ eyes, they will go seek it in one form or another. Sex provides the perfect counterfeit to what they are seeking, because it is so close to the real thing. But to be lusted is not the same thing as to be cherished. To have sexual intercourse is not the same thing as intimacy.

Our response as the church is not just about monitoring the entertainment and other media that shapes who we are, but it also needs to focus on teaching boys about what it means to be a man and girls what it means to be woman. This is not simply about sex education, this about helping our youth make the transition into adulthood.

I don’t know much about girls, so I am not going to speak to that. What I want to touch on is how to help a boy become a man. We, as a society, lack a celebration or a ceremony which helps a boy understand that he is now a man. In our society you become a man when you have sex. Therefore, as a church, we have to look for ways to educate the young men in our care on what it means to be a man, and find ways to give them responsibility so that can experience that transition.

I thank God that I grew up on a farm. That provided a natural transition because as we grew older Dad would give us more responsibilities. From mowing the lawn, to driving a tractor, to hauling manure, and doing field work I was granted more responsibility with age and it was if Dad was saying, you are more of a man now. The vast majority of boys do not experience this, and most of them are not given responsibility of any kind.

Here is what I feel God calling me to do: help boys become men. I believe the problem is not Hollywood (the entertainment industry) but it is our culture’s lack of having a perspective about the future. We don’t think about the consequences of our actions, we just do it. Therefore we have raised a generation of males who don’t know what it means to be a man, and a generation of girls who are longing to be the delight of their man’s (husband or father) eye.

Don't Go Alone

{Hebrews 10:19-25; ESV}

Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

It is a fact of life that it is easier to accomplish a task with the help of another person than it is to accomplish that same task alone. We benefit from the encouragement, the shared responsibility, and a different perspective that a second person brings to the task. Working with other people makes us more productive and less exhausted than trying to take the world on by ourselves.

One of the great tragedies that many of us face in life is that we take life on alone. This is especially true when it comes to following Jesus. We make following Jesus about “my personal relationship” with God and we neglect the important part other people can play in that relationship.

The author of the book of Hebrews was very much aware of the importance fellowship plays in our lives. He wrote to a community of believers who were being tempted to abandon their faith because of persecution. One of the ways the author offers to combat their discouragement is to live in fellowship. That is one of the truths we discover in Hebrews 10:19-25.

Did you notice the phrase that kept popping up in this passage? It was the phrase “let us”. The author of Hebrews is urging his readers to remember that they are following Jesus together and that they are not to approach life, even their relationship with God, alone.

We need people in our lives who we pray for on a daily basis, who pray for us daily, and with whom we raise the same requests to God. Prayer helps us build a connection, not only with God, but also with each other. It invites God into our lives and reminds us that we are part of a larger story.

We also need people in our lives with whom we study God’s Word and share the experiences of God working in our lives. It is important to hear the perspective of another person, for they might be able to open a door into truth that we have overlooked. Hearing what God is doing in and through the lives of our friends reminds us that we are not alone and that God is still at work redeeming this world, even if we cannot see evidence of this reality for ourselves.

Finally, we need people in our lives who will encourage us to live a life of faith. When we are by ourselves it is easy to remain in our comfort zone, but being with other people has the ability to infuse us with the courage we need to do something we ordinarily wouldn’t do. I am sure that if you thought about it you can think of a time when a person, or a group of people, was able to get you to do something you normally wouldn’t even think about doing. While this has negative consequences when we are pressured to do evil, it has positive consequences when we are encouraged to love and serve people.

The bottom line, the writer of Hebrews tells us, is that we need to be part of a community of faith. This is more than just being a member of a local church, this is about having a group of friends who speak truth and love into the lives of one another. The life of a disciple is a life that is lived in fellowship. Fellowship simply means a small group of people doing life together. As we examine our lives I am certain we will discover that this is the time of life that our hearts crave.

Of Incomparable Value

{Philippians 3:7-9; NLT}

I once thought all these things were so very important, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I may have Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own goodness or my ability to obey God’s law, but I trust Christ to save me. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith.

I want to begin by asking a question, “How valuable is Christ Jesus to you?” Take a moment and think about your answer. How we answer this question determines the direction of our lives, it is that important. If we don’t find Jesus to be very valuable then we are not going to concern ourselves with following him. On the other had if Christ Jesus is valuable to us then we will set the course of our lives to reflect that fact.

The apostle Paul told the Philippians that at one time in his life he did not think following Jesus was of any value. What Paul found to be of value were the traditions of his religion. He kept the law and was a member of the strict sect of the Pharisees, and his zealousness was seen in his active persecution of the church.

Yet something happened to Paul which changed the course of his life. Christ interrupted his life and showed Paul the true path of life. Jesus saved Paul from the empty life of his ancestors so that he could live the full life God intended for Paul to live. From that moment on Paul considered the valuable elements of his former way of life as garbage, because they could not compare to the life he had been given through Christ Jesus.

The reason Paul discovered Christ to be of incomparable value is because in Christ Jesus Paul discovered life. Paul would never have been able to give up his former way of life if he didn’t believe that it was in Christ alone that true life was found. Therefore Christ’s value in the life of Paul was connected to what Christ gave to Paul, and what Christ gave was nothing less than life itself.

We will never value Christ Jesus if we do not discover in him true life. That is what his death and resurrection were about. Jesus’ death on the cross took care of our sins, and his resurrection showed us that not only did he succeed in dealing with our sin, but he was now able to give us a brand new life.

What does this brand new life look like? True life looks like being made right with God. Part of this means that we are able to enjoy a relationship with God. It means that we have access to God through prayer, that God guides us through Scripture and his Spirit, and that we are able to experience God at work in and through our lives.

A second part of this new life means that we are restored to our proper role in creation. Genesis tells us that God created humankind for a purpose. Our responsibility is to be caretakers of creation, and that is still the responsibility of those who are God’s people. Because of sin part of what it means to be caretakers of Creation is to join God in rescuing people from the kingdom of darkness and bring them into the Kingdom of light. True life isn’t just about having our relationships restored, but it is also about having our purpose restored.

What this means is that through Christ Jesus our lives have value. Because we have a right relationship with God it means that we are valuable to God, and because we have a purpose in this world means that we are valuable to creation. In Christ Jesus we don’t have to settle for a life of mere existence, but we can live a life filled with meaning and purpose.

Since the apostle Paul found Christ Jesus to be valuable he discarded and threw away his former way of life. He came to realize that life wasn’t about his physical ancestry , what he believed, or how zealously he lived his life. What matter was Jesus, in whom true life is discovered. It was around Christ Jesus that Paul arranged his life.

This is where the rubber meets the road for many of us. We are willing to accept Jesus, to worship Jesus, and proclaim Jesus, but we are unwilling to throw out our former means of life. The reason so many of us struggle to live the life God has called us to live is because we haven’t made Jesus of supreme to us. Instead we have held on to a relationship, or the fantasy of a relationship, that we believed would give us the life we have longed to live. Perhaps we have place a lesser value on Jesus because of our desire to be entertained, and so we work our lives around television shows, video games, and music. There is the possibility that we have held on to the belief that our life is found in money and the accumulation of things, so we work, spend, and horde trying to find that magical place when we will be satisfied with life.

As we pursue the life God has created us to live our starting point has to be Jesus. We have to recognize that Christ Jesus is our source of life, that he is the vine and that we are the branches. I think this is a very hard thing for many us to accept. We know that it is taught in the Bible, but it just doesn’t feel real. It is this reason I would urge us to pray every day that God would help us lay down roots into Christ Jesus (Colossians 2:7) so that our faith may grow strong.

I also believe that we have to intentionally start arranging our lives around Jesus. Too many of us have allowed our lives to be caught up in the hectic stream of life and we haven’t made Christ Jesus a priority. We need to carve time out of schedule to be in Scripture. Not only do we need to read Scripture but we also have to memorize Scripture and meditate on it. The more we know Scripture the more we are equipped to know and do God’s will. We also have to make time in our lives to serve people, because that is the way Jesus lived. We cannot really love God until we also begin to love people, and serving people is an intentional act of love.

The bottom line is that we have to intentionally get rid of our former way of life and concentrate on Jesus’ way of life. That is how we demonstrate that Jesus is of supreme value in our lives.